Okay so now that we have touched on driving and walking in a resort area, lets talk about the next big thing....how to act in a motel room!!! I am just going to make this a list because lets face it, you don't need a story behind each one. I will say that this list has come from problems I have encountered in the last 12 + years of me working at a motel. So a clue for you....remember these and when you want to act like an asshole in a motel room think because you never know if your dumbness will show up on a Blog or in a book somewhere!!!!!!!!!!!
*You have no room. Okay first off it is not our problem that you made the choice to come to a resort town and did not book a room! We are not mind readers to say oh yeah Joe Asshole has just left Tenbucktwo on his way here we need to save him a room. And also a declined credit card does not hold the room for you! All a declined credit card does is gets the room canceled and just shows the motel that you are a broke ass person that might just need to stay home!!!!
*Number of people in a room. Rooms hold X amount of people for your safety, if you tell a motel that you are going to have 2 people in the room and you shove 20 in the room...guess what when something happens the motel is only going to check for the 2 people and after every other registered guest in the motel is accounted for we will look for the other 18 people you put in the room! Also the extra people you put in your room or bring into your room are the ones that make problems for you!
*People under 21. Sadly this is a big problem in some resort towns! These people think they know everything....let me tell you, you don't know shit! Most of the time you are still learning to wipe your ass from where mommy and daddy has done it for the last 17+ years. And at the same time let me tell you...you fuck up mommy and daddy can not get you out of it! You are under 21 so don't drink in the room, you want to drink stay home with mommy and daddy. All drinking in a resort town does is get you into trouble any way!
*When you have made such an ass out of your self and you are asked to leave, just shut the hell up, pack and get out!!! You can tell someone that you will have their job-guess what look at your self, it is an asshole like you that you would have to deal with so you would not be able to do the job. And don't tell someone you are going to sue them...been there done that and let me tell you if you take your story to a lawyer they will laugh you right out of their office for being even dumber to think you can sue someone for being a dumb ass! And another thing...don't tell the staff you will own the motel, because guess what you wont!!!!!!!!!!! Every time you say this stuff we as the person putting you out wish we had a dime for ever time someone said that to us because guess what...we would not need to work, we would be rich!!!!!!!!!!!
*Yelling at 2 in the morning. Don't do it!!! You would not want to be woke up so don't wake anyone else up. And you being drunk is not a reason to be yelling...all that shows is how big of an idiot you are and that you have more money then scents!!! When someone comes banging on your door to tell ya to shut the hell up...say yes i am sorry i will go to bed because i am drunk!
*Parking another biggie!!! Most motels has 1 SPOT PER ROOM. Don't ask for more parking permits because you find that you are above the rules and bring 4 cars and think you can park them on the lot! You are NOT above the rules!!! And don't say it is the motels problem if you park where you should not park and you get towed! You were the dumb ass idiot that parked you car where it should not be...not the motel so cry your blues to the cops not us.
*Sex in motels! Lets face it everyone does it, HOWEVER there are some things you should remember. The first thing is do it in your room, not in the hall, pool or where ever!!! If you are here with someone and you meet someone that is here with someone...think with you head and not with what is between your legs! This always ends up bad! If you are going to have a 3some or 4 some or such, keep it down and shut the door and windows...no one wants to know that you are doing this! If you are staying at a motel for the last big weekend before you say "I Do" then remember 2 things...first if you will hook up with a guy at a bar, then you should think twice now so that you don't end up with a you cheated get the hell out in a few years....and also this means that you really don't want to get married to start with so back out now! The second thing is don't be a dumb ass and take photos of it or video tape it......they will come back to bite ya in the ass later down the line. And the last most important thing about sex and motels..........ALWAYS USE A CONDOM! If you don't and you get an STD or pregnant it is not the motels problem this happened to you! And by the way if you do get an STD or pregnant because you were an idiot and did not use a condom, then don't call the motel 9 months later to find out who the guy was because you were a one night stand and did not get his information, they will not give it to you. You just have to tell your kid what a dumb ass person you were and that you could not tell him/her a thing about their daddy but he was a __________ fuck!
I will leave that for y'all to think about for the night and will post more later!
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